Funny Valentine is the 23rd President of the United States and the true mastermind behind the Steel Ball Run race. He watches the competition from behind the curtains and hopes to gather the Saint's Corpse as a means to further the United States' ambitions.
- 1 Appearance
- 2 Personality
- 3 Abilities
- 4 History
- 5 Chapters
- 6 Quotes
- 7 Video Games
- 8 Jorge Joestar
- 9 Gallery
- 10 Trivia
- 11 References
- 12 Site Navigation
Throughout the narrative, Valentine adopts two main appearances, differing greatly in build. He is originally introduced as an old, stout, overweight man, but around the time he takes the rib cage of the Saint, gains a more fit, muscular and handsome appearance. Araki attributes this to his naturally changing art style but also jokes that it is simply because Valentine "worked out."
After this, it is revealed that spanning his back, Valentine bears deep scars, in a pattern resembling that of the 21st-century flag of the United States.
He consistently wears long, light hair, curling at its ends into a number of thick, well-defined rings (perhaps as a reference to the white periwigs and hairstyles of the 18th century, as worn by several early United States Presidents).
He also normally dons a smooth, uniform outfit, including an overcoat closed to the end of his torso. Under which he wears frilled garments and a pair of gloves with a net pattern on the upper half.
Funny Valentine is a dignified but immoral patriot, militant in his will to accomplish what he thinks is best for the United States.
Valentine's foremost characteristic is his deep patriotism. Marked by the gruesome fate of his father, Valentine's goal is for the United States to stand over the rest of the world. To do so, he seeks the blessing of the Saint Corpse Parts, becoming ecstatic when the Corpse blesses him. Moreover, the President shows a great degree of determination toward this goal. First acting through his subordinates, Valentine then takes a greater active part in seizing the Saint's Corpse, confronting his enemies personally if need be, and ultimately claiming that he has no problem putting his life on the line to fulfill his objectives. He also manages to regain his composure even facing the eternal torture that Tusk ACT4 has inflicted on him. One of his expressed fears is to have someone petty or worse seizing the Corpse and taking away the happiness that should go into the United States.
Despite this, Valentine is also callous about the lives of individual Americans, never hesitating to sacrifice his own subordinates in his quest for the Corpse and going as far as to kill them himself if he deems it necessary. He also cruelly trapped a train engineer halfway through a mirror just to assure himself on one advantage. His patriotism also comes with some hypocritical egotism. Despite his declared goal of working for the interests of the country, he regularly declares that his goals are fulfilled and after witnessing Love Train's ability, shouted that everything, including power and glory, was now his. Notably, when he was infatuated with Lucy Steel disguised as his wife, Valentine tried to sexually assault her and declared that she would bear his child, saying that he wanted a dynasty to ensure the United States would remain at the top (and by that mean disregarded the country's democratic roots).
Valentine is a ruthless individual, having a might-makes-right attitude toward the world, constantly using the metaphor of "taking the napkin first" to signify his gain in power. He thinks that power is founded on authority, and part of the reason he wants the Corpse is to obtain a spiritual authority on par with the Vatican. Convinced that not everyone's wishes can be fulfilled and one must always sacrifice something for the sake of another, Valentine chooses to put the United States' prerogatives above the interests of the rest of the world. Valentine respects ambition and ruthlessness and ultimately entrusts the Corpse to an alternate Diego Brando (Diego Brando from Another Universe). On the other hand, he looks down on Steven Steel's less ambitious goals, calling his will superficial. Claiming that his methods require the least sacrifices possible, they still liberally involve murder and generally violence, as well as manipulation of the people around him.
In and out of combat, Valentine shows a careful and observant side, regularly watching and thinking about the situation to best see his strengths and vulnerabilities. Firstly, he's made great care to disguise his search behind the Steel Ball Run race to leave rival countries behind but also closely watched the race, following the racers inside a train and having an underling both stand watch within the participants or recruiting them afterward, or standing ready to ambush the duo. Valentine also understandably keeps tabs on the whereabouts of the Corpse Parts, which after killing Axl RO, allows him to deduce that the infiltrator who broke into his residence was still near him. His observant nature makes him see through Diego Brando's disguise when the latter tries to approach him, and suspect Gyro's determination in their clash that something is amiss, fully grasping (with the help of a lucky wind gust) the danger the Spin poses to him and how it works. However, when confronting Johnny, Valentine commits a fatal mistake in underestimating the Spin, conceitedly allowing Johnny a last "futile" attempt at shooting him.
Valentine also demonstrates a generally dignified and composed attitude. In attitude, he is a polite man, among others using the formal and neutral pronoun "Watashi" (わたし) for himself, and almost never losing his composure enough to insult someone. He possesses a code of honor, first putting his patriotism above his own interests, and is a man of his words, never killing Steven Steel despite having reasons to, only because he swore an oath. Valentine also respects the prowess of his adversaries, notably admiring the Spin technique as Ball Breaker tries to breach the dimensional wall.
Nonetheless, Valentine will twist this code whenever convenient and isn't above lying to gain an advantage, notably feeding Johnny with false hopes and half-truths to persuade him into releasing him from Tusk. He also isn't above some petty moments such as slamming one of his men into another dimension to get rid of him or stomping Steven Steel's wounds to make him suffer as frivolous revenge for him slightly thwarting his plans. During his earlier appearances, Valentine emoted much more, slightly losing his cool on several occasions and also privately calling Diego a "peasant" for having the gall to negotiate with his person on the same level.
Funny Valentine is generally polite but cold toward any individual. The only person he's admitted to having loved is his father, confessing to having been searching for him across multiple universes, although that claim is dubious. Despite his marriage with Scarlet and the two sharing a certain fondness for each other, Valentine only appeared to be a little disturbed by her death. Finally, Valentine keeps a professional distance with his subordinates at best, only caring that they fulfill his orders, whether they die or not.
Valentine has a somewhat humorous quirk: he likes to take afternoon naps and orders everyone around him not to disturb him when he sleeps.
- Main article: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Valentine's Stand, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (D4C), enables him access at any time to any number of alternate worlds/universes/dimensions; where if desired he may swap bodies with his counterparts, granting him pseudo-immortality. This requires him to get caught between two objects (for example, a flag and the ground or a sofa and the wall). This limits D4C's ability but not by much since he has gotten caught between water and the bottom of the ocean as a method of using his ability before.
When Lucy develops Ticket to Ride, Valentine may utilize a protective wall of light emanating from her which deflects all misfortune, bolstering his defense further as he becomes effectively invincible. He names this complementary ability "D4C - Love Train".
According to his wife, he makes no sound when he walks, and he can even play the mandolin using his feet, simply dancing on it. He also can play the violin. He and his wife Scarlet seem to have perform together, him at the violin while Scarlet sings.
When the President was a child, his father went to war, and never came back. One day, a soldier named Captain Valentine came to Funny's house and told him that his father was captured by the enemy. After resisting intense torture, he committed suicide in order not to betray his country. He retained a handkerchief (horrifically, behind his eye) which Captain Valentine then gave to Funny.
It is implied that Funny's mother remarried with Captain Valentine some time later.
American Civil War
While on an excavation, Valentine's company perished in a desert. Valentine himself, exhausted, fell onto the site of the Corpse's Heart. His life was saved due to the Corpse's power, and he inferred the existence of a complete Corpse.
At some point later, he was captured by the enemy and brutally whipped, leaving scars spanning his back (in a pattern resembling that of the flag of the United States).
Steel Ball Run
The Steel Ball Run race is a plot set up by Valentine and the down-on-his-luck promoter, Steven Steel, to scope through the United States to get the Saint Corpse Parts which were rumored to have life-changing power. As he hosted and monitored the event, he'd send out people of his choosing to make sure things didn't go haywire in the process while at the same time trying to find pieces of the corpse parts themselves.
By obtaining the corpse, Valentine, being a patriot, wishes to use its power to bring a better future to America by merging his stand and the corpse's power to deflect all misfortunes befalling on his country to foreign countries.
During the race, Valentine employs many assassins to kill both Gyro Zeppeli and Johnny Joestar, even having some participate in the race to get close to the duo. The majority of his subordinates are Stand users, such as Blackmore, Mike O. and Diego Brando from Another Universe.
Receiving the Corpse
Once learning that the Corpse parts were embedded within Lucy, he had her live with him, knowing that she was disguised as his wife, and in the hopes of taking the Corpse parts out of her when the time was right.
After seeing Lucy for what she truly is, he holds her until the Corpse's power is at its fullest. He hires D-I-S-C-O to stall Gyro so he can kill Johnny himself. Using Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, He sends both Diego Brando and Wekapipo (both have since defected from Valentine's employ) to alternate dimensions to shoot Johnny and eliminate the three at once. He fights Wekapipo and Diego with the odds in his favor, then Diego uses Scary Monsters to guide Johnny to safety and shoot Valentine. However, Valentine uses his Stand to replace his dying body.
He takes off in a train to protect Lucy from Diego and Hot Pants, while Ticket to Ride takes form. He makes several clones to fight off the two but is nearly killed by Diego. After fighting and killing Diego, Lucy's Stand takes form and powers up D4C. He quickly uses it to kill Hot Pants and prepares to fight Gyro and Johnny.
When Gyro and Johnny finally show up to confront the president, Valentine shows the full extent of his new ability. Valentine misdirects everything that was intended to kill him to another part of the world, killing someone else. However, Gyro tells Johnny that it is time for "Lesson 5", meaning the use of the Golden Spin. As Gyro prepares for the Golden Spin, Valentine shoots him non-lethally. However, with the effects of D4C -Love Train, the wound travels up his body towards a more lethal spot. Gyro then summons Ball Breaker and passes through the dimensional barrier, accelerating the age of half of Valentine's face. As the wound travels up Gyro's body, he shoots Ball Breaker a second time, seemingly killing Valentine. However, Valentine was turned into an old man due to the second attack and after recovering, he finally manages to kill Gyro.
After killing Gyro, Johnny relentlessly tries to do anything possible to even harm Valentine, but to no avail. Valentine then shoots Johnny's horse, Slow Dancer, to eliminate the chance of seeing the Golden Rectangle. In a last-ditch effort, Johnny uses one of Gyro's steel balls to heal his horse which kicks him into the air, activating Tusk ACT 4.
After being hit by Tusk ACT 4, he found himself subjected to the Spin, which drove him into a hole in the ground every time he jumped to another dimension. He attempted to bribe his way away from this by offering Johnny a brand new Gyro Zeppeli, whom he shot and killed prior, in return for Johnny ending the Spin. Johnny refuses, stating that even a Gyro from another dimension would not be the same Gyro as the one he had adventured with.
After an explanation of how he wanted to use the Corpse parts for his country, he mentions that Hot Pants died. However, he managed to take the spray from another dimension's Hot Pants and hands it over to Johnny so that he can heal Lucy. Johnny, though gradually trusting the president, tosses Valentine's empty pistol to his side and challenges him to pick it up, harboring a suspicion that Valentine had brought a pistol back with him from an alternate dimension to attack him with. The suspicion proved correct, and knowing that if he picked up the pistol it would merge with the one from the alternate dimension and reveal his intention to betray Johnny, he hesitated for a moment. After reaffirming his personal sense of justice, he draws his weapon and shoots Johnny, who in turn shoots back at him. The gunfight results in the final death of the president.
At the conclusion of Steel Ball Run, it is mentioned that despite Valentine's disappearance from the public eye at the end of the race, he attained approval ratings as high as 91%.
Valentine is a playable character in All Star Battle (PS3), he was the last standard character confirmed for the game, alongside "Kosaku Kawajiri". As a Part 7 character, three parts of the Holy Corpse appear scattered on stages when he, Johnny, or Gyro are used, which they can pick up to receive blessings that boost their performance in combat. Valentine has the lowest health in the game, reflecting his many "deaths" throughout the part. Valentine is both the only playable villain and "Stand" Style fighter in Part 7. Valentine can turn Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap on/off, changing move-sets, as well as have access to the Stand Rush ability returning from the Capcom game, being able to attack in conjunction with his Stand.
During a fight, Valentine showcases skills and feats he had performed throughout Steel Ball Run.
- Throw - A hindrance to my country (おまえはこの国の未来への「幸せ」を邪魔している): D4C throws the opponent high into the air with one hand and jabs them with the other in the abdomen as they fall, throwing them away and onto the ground afterward.
While D4C is off:
- It's merely self-defense (正当なる防衛だよ): Valentine pulls out a revolver and shoots the opponent six times with it, before tossing it away.
- A gift from the other side (あっち側から連れて来た): Valentine twirls a flag around him as another Valentine comes out from behind it, delivers a flying kick to the opponent, then disappears using his own flag.
- Hiding in the next dimension (隣の次元へ逃れて隠れなくては…………): Valentine jumps, directly upward, forward, or backward, as he pulls out a flag and uses it to hide in another dimension. If the attack button inputted is held, Valentine will stay in hiding for longer. This move can be used to evade all attacks and projectiles completely and can even retaliate when the opponent is open. However, the opponent themselves can catch Valentine with an attack as he's falling after having returned, with enough anticipation. (Comboable)
- He's gone?! (消えた！！？): A counter. Valentine poses. If the opponent hits him in that moment with a non-Throw/HHA/GHA, Valentine will grab the opponent and fall backwards. Valentine alone will phase into the ground, using the opponent as cover to enter an alternate dimension, while the opponent themselves will merely slam into it. Valentine returns while they are on the ground.
While D4C is on:
- Well, now you've done it! (始末する): D4C flies forward, unleashing a combo of chops that knock the opponent down with the final hit.
- I'll dispose of you! (かなりムカついたぞ): D4C unleashes a chop downward. If Medium is inputted, it follows up with an overhead chop. If Heavy is inputted, it follows up with a low kick that knocks the opponent down, and cannot be blocked if they are not crouching. A Stand Rush skill that Valentine can disconnect from to attack the opponent while it is executing. If Valentine has all three Corpse Parts, this moves executes faster, nullifying the recovery between attacks.
- Dojyan! (どジャアァァ～ン, Named "Ta-dah!" in the English localization): D4C pulls out a flag and, after laying it flat in the air, slams it into the ground. This move doubles as an anti-air. If the opponent is caught, they are sent into another dimension as Menger Sponges spew out from under the flag, and then sent flying out from under. If Valentine has all three Corpse Parts, this moves executes faster, nullifying the recovery between attacks.
Valentine receives a new blessing every time he picks up one of the three Holy Corpse Parts, but if knocked down, loses it as he drops the part.
- The Guard Gauge does not deplete as quickly.
- Valentine's defense is increased, reducing damage taken by 25%.
- D4C -Love Train- goes into effect. A dimensional wall of light surrounds Valentine. All projectiles except those unleashed through HHA and GHA are completely nullified. His damage reduction is also further increased to 70%, and his attack speed increases, granting him more abilities to combo into or unleash as surprise attacks.
Valentine's HHA, "Guess who's back!" (連れて戻って来た！) is a counter. Valentine and D4C openly present themselves to the opponent with a shrug. If the opponent's non-Throw/GHA connects, Valentine will slam them into the ground as he disappears. He will come up with two more Valentines as the three beat the downed opponent, before D4C throws the oppponent into the air. In unison, all three Valentines uppercut the opponent and send them flying as the two that were summoned return to their dimensions.
Valentine's GHA, simply named "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" (いともたやすく行われるえげつない行為, Renamed "Filthy acts, at a reasonable price" in the English localization), is unblockable, and has him pull out a large flag and blanket it forward as Valentine declares the attack something the opponent should be honored to receive. If the opponent is caught, they are draped over by the flag (an image reminiscent of a military funeral ceremony) and Valentine jumps in shortly afterward. The two are pulled into another dimension, interrupting the battle between alternate universe versions of themselves. While Valentine poses with his expecting doppelganger, the opponent slams into theirs as they violently disintegrate into a shower of Menger Sponges as per the rules of D4C.
Valentine has a special skill exclusive to him, "Back from the 'other side'" (自分を「隣りへ」捨てて「入れ替わっている」). He can only perform the skill when he has all three Corpse Parts and three stocks of the Heart Heat Gauge. Valentine will swap places with an alternate version of him from another dimension, which completely refills his health bar. If Valentine is low on health and has activated "Rumble Mode", then it will persist into his transition, leaving him at full health with Rumble Mode engaged. The drawback of this move, however, is that Valentine loses all Corpse Parts and his HHG is disabled for the rest of entire match. If struck by Kosaku-Kira's GHA after having used this skill successfully, Valentine's HHG will be restored once time has looped backward.
Valentine triggers unique animations when hit by Johnny and Gyro's GHAs respectively.
- Johnny - "Pretty long for a shortcut!": Valentine attempts to protect himself with D4C Love Train, only for Tusk ACT4 to forcefully rip the dimensional wall open and fly past, recreating the climactic scene from the battle in the manga. When beating Valentine, a slow-motion close-up of Tusk punching D4C in the face and the hit reflecting in Valentine is shown.
- Gyro - "Ball Breaker": Valentine attempts to protect himself with D4C Love Train, only for Ball Breaker to penetrate and fly through the dimensional wall, recreating the scene from the battle in the manga. Ball Breaker will zoom past Valentine and D4C's face, the two attempting to brace themselves, before exploding in a blast of Complete Golden Spin Energy.
In the English localization, if Valentine is mirror matched against himself, during the dialogue before the fight, the first Valentine will provoke saying "Get ready for amber waves of pain!", while the second Valentine will say "Hello me. Meet the REAL me" (the latter being a lyric from the song "Sweating Bullets" by the band Megadeth)
Valentine possesses an alternate costume, being the attire he used during his first appearance (a more classic president-like suit for the time period). In the English localization, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap is simply shorted to "D4C".
Valentine was confirmed for JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Eyes of Heaven alongside Johnny, Gyro, and THE WORLD Diego.
As a Stand User, Valentine is one of many characters with wildly varied abilities that grant him uniqueness in battle.
- Style Action - Must...escape...to the next dimension...and hide...: Valentine jumps as he pulls out a flag and uses it to hide in another dimension, before reappearing from another flag. Depending on whether or not Valentine is locked onto an opponent, he will either reappear in the air behind them from anywhere on the stage, easily allowing for a Backstab to follow, or simply reappear in place from where he initially leapt. Valentine is granted invincibility from the moment he pulls out the flag until he reappears, and gains super armor upon reappearing until he lands. He may follow-up on his reappearance with a Normal or Powerful Attack, as well as any skill while falling.
- It's merely self-defense!: Valentine pulls out a revolver and fires six bullets before tossing it away. His shots may automatically angle themselves slightly upward or downward depending on where his target is.
- That really irritated me, so I'm really going to have to hurt you now.: Valentine and D4C charge forward a short distance before unleashing a barrage of 6 chops that send opponents caught flying on the final hit. If the target is splat against a wall, the attack can be inputted a second time and Valentine will follow it up by disappearing into another dimension. He will then briefly reappear in front of the target with two more Valentines as the three, in unison, uppercut and send them flying.
- This is another me...: Valentine throws a piece of glass into the air as D4C shatters it, allowing him to switch dimensions. He then reappears with a parallel version of himself that will proceed to attack on his own. The parallel Valentine has his own health gauge separate of Valentine, and can utilize any of his skills and attacks. While the parallel Valentine is active, the original Valentine cannot use any attacks or skills involving D4C. After some time has passed or the parallel Valentine's health empties, he will retreat back into his own dimension using his own flag.
- President Icon: A small icon on the right side of Valentine's health gauge showing a duplicate of his profile displays whether or not the parallel Valentine is active. It is dimmed by default, and lights up to indicate that the parallel Valentine is currently active.
- If I switch out with this new me...: Valentine swaps places with an alternate version of himself from another dimension, completely replenishing his current health gauge. However, Valentine's defense permanently lowers every time he uses this skill, making it easier for his opponents to deplete his health overall. This will stack up to 3 times, at which point Valentine can lose a full health gauge after receving only a small amount of damage.
- EX - That really irritated me, so I'm really going to have to hurt you now.: Valentine is invincible from the moment of the skill's execution to when the first chop is thrown.
- EX - This is another me...: Valentine is invincible until the parallel Valentine is successfully active. The in-game description falsely implies that Valentine is invincible while the parallel Valentine is active.
- Trait - D4C -Love Train-: When Valentine reaches his last health gauge, a dimensional wall of light surrounds him. While active, all projectiles are completely nullified. However, Love Train has an innate durability, and will disappear when enough projectiles have made contact with it. Valentine also remains vulnerable to Johnny Joestar's "Who'll be the sacrifice?" skill.
- Dual Heat Attack - Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap: Identical to its performance in All Star Battle, though executes faster for the sake of brevity.
- Dojyan! (dubbed "Ta-dah!" in the English localization): Valentine must use his Style Action 3 times. (200 Points)
- You're the only one who can come in from the other side...: Valentine must use "This is another me..." 3 times. (200 Points)
- Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (dubbed "Filthy acts, at a reasonable price" in the English localization): Valentine must Backstab 5 times. (300 Points)
- Pick up the napkin first!: Valentine must use "If I switch out with this new me...". (500 Points)
- My soul is in clear, unclouded tandem with my actions! Everything I do is for justice!: Valentine must Retire an opponent without losing a single health gauge. (800 Points)
In the game's story, Valentine is the root cause of Heaven Ascension DIO's appearance in the universe, and the entire story of the game because of it. During the events of his final battle with Johnny, trapped by Tusk ACT4's power, Valentine searches the various parallel universes in hopes of something capable of saving him while he buys time against his enemy. After some searching, he encounters a version of DIO within another universe. That version of DIO was able to undo the power of the Golden Spin with only a wave of his hand, and Valentine initially looked to him for help. However, after telling the alternate DIO of the existence of parallel universes, Valentine quickly realizes his mistake: Heaven Ascension DIO immediately made it his objective to subjugate and conquer every universe possible.
With his country threatened by the so-called "terrorist", Valentine ultimately decides to ally himself with the Joestar family, as they are his best hope for defeating Heaven DIO. Appearing multiple times under the guise of being one of Heaven DIO's minions sent to fight the protagonist group, he discreetly gives aid to the Joestars through small pieces of information each meeting.
Eventually, after the Joestar family's first encounter with Heaven DIO, Valentine directly approaches them. He confirms of the original universe DIO's status and hints at the weakness of DIO's new Heaven Ascension form. While Johnny is rightfully distrustful of Valentine, Valentine attempts to diffuse his suspicion by tossing the revolver he had hidden, forcing Johnny to throw his own version as the group witnesses the menger sponge effect. Despite the evidence that Valentine bears no ill-will and has no reason to deceive the Joestars, Johnny cannot forgive him for killing Gyro.
Valentine also helps Joseph Joestar confirm the reason why the two versions of him can co-exist right next to each other: as both of them are from the same timeline and are not alternate/parallel versions of the other, they are safe from the menger sponge effect.
Eventually, Valentine's role is discovered by Heaven DIO. He reveals his reason for betrayal, following the path of true justice, even it means sacrificing his life for the sake of his country. With nowhere to run, Valentine boldly attacks DIO, but is ultimately defeated by The World Over Heaven, with all versions of him in every universe wiped from reality along with D4C.
Due to Valentine's erasure from the timelines, the ending of Steel Ball Run is altered. In the new timeline, Gyro is alive to fight THE WORLD Diego alongside Johnny.
- Main article: JORGE JOESTAR (Novel)
- The concept for Valentine's character derives from Araki's interest in a fighting President, after watching the movie Independence Day.
- Funny Valentine demonstrates the ability to pierce and shotgun a can of beer; much like Jotaro during his introduction in Stardust Crusaders.
- Valentine's catchphrase "Dojyaaa~~n!" literally means "Tada!" in Japanese.
- The scene during which Funny receives his dead father's handkerchief appears to reference the 1994 film Pulp Fiction. In the movie, a young Butch and his mother are visited by Vietnam veteran Captain Koons, who fought with Butch's father. Butch's father was captured and held in a POW camp and did everything in his power to hide a gold watch (a family heirloom and symbol of patriotism) from his captors until he died of dysentery. Some of the panels in the manga were seemingly modeled after the same scene in the movie.
- Valentine's seiyuu in the Bandai Namco games, Yasuyuki Kase, would later go on to also voice Mikitaka Hazekura in Part 4 TV Anime.
- In the story, Funny Valentine is stated to be the 23rd President of the United States, a rank which was occupied by Benjamin Harrison in reality.
|Funny Valentine's Agents|