Crazy Heartbreakers - Chapter 2
"NiNiNi - That's what makes it wondrous."
Dazed date (騒乱の遭遇, Sōran no Sōgū, lit. Chaotic Encounter) is the second chapter of Crazy Heartbreakers, a light novel based on the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure series.
Summary
Oingo and Boingo were born with their Stand abilities. When Boingo was five years old, he and Oingo ran away from home because they were severely abused by their parents for being creepy. They worked as town informants, until Telence T. D'Arby approached them. Telence brought them to see DIO, luring them with a large sum of money. Although Oingo was scared upon seeing DIO, Boingo somehow did not feel any fear upon hearing the strange sweetness of DIO's voice, contrary to Boingo always being the frightened one. DIO told them that he'd be happy if they could use their powers for his sake. When Boingo wanted to open his comic book, it somehow disappeared. Suddenly, DIO was flipping through the book. However, he quickly got bored of it and threw the book back at the brothers. Boingo noticed that all of the pages were only filled with the word "Useless" repeated in grotesquely distorted characters. His Stand had no predictions, as all possibilties were discarded as being useless.
In the present, Boingo has the same empty feeling as he did back then now that he lost the book. Boingo sits in a corner of S Station, fighting his urge to look for the book. He recalls how the last pages he read told him that he has to let go of the book for a while. Eventually it will return to him, but this will allow him to graduate from being DIO's minion. Although Boingo read the predictions, he didn't intentionally leave the book behind. While he hurriedly followed Hol Horse, he accidentally dropped the comic from his bag. A passerby child picked it up and laughed at its gross drawings before taking it somewhere else. Boingo sits in a daze for a long time, feeling useless without Oingo by his side now that his book was gone as well. Several Japanese people try asking him questions, but Boingo doesn't answer them. A police officer then appears alongside the station staff members. The elderly cop asks Boingo if Boingo could understand him. Boingo nods in response. His Stand allows him to speak, read, or understand any language in the world. Tohth even allows him to read ancient inscriptions that haven't been deciphered yet, but Boingo never told anyone since he thought they wouldn't believe him. Boingo stutters while trying to talk, but the police officer patiently waits for him. He asks Boingo if he has a ticket so they could leave the station, which Boingo confirms. The station staff thank the police officer, revealing that he is Ryohei Higashikata. Boingo also manages to introduce himself.
Meanwhile, Hol Horse and Josuke have a conversation on their way to S Station. Josuke wonders how Hol Horse is good at Japanese even though he's a foreigner. Hol Horse claims the best way to learn a language is through love. He was close to girls from various countries and that let him quickly learn foreign languages. Josuke asks what happened to his Japanese lover and realizes that Hol Horse got dumped, although he doesn't really care about Hol Horse's love life as long as there are no illegitimate children. After Hol Horse claims to not be that irresponsible, Josuke asks why he always has a stick in his mouth. Hol Horse explains that it's a toothpick inspired by the samurai drama hero Kogarashi Monjiro, shocked that Josuke doesn't even know him. Hol Horse's mouth felt uncomfortable after quitting smoking and using a smoke-free pipe didn't feel right to him, so his Japanese girlfriend suggested a toothpick, saying it looks cool. She also said he could use a leaf like the character Iwaki from the Dokaben series, but Josuke doesn't know what Dokaben is. Hol Horse declares that Josuke is out of touch with Japanese culture, but Josuke assumes his girlfriend was lying and made stuff up to trick Hol Horse after she found out he was cheating on her. Hol Horse starts to believe him, but decides to keep having the toothpick in his mouth since he chose it himself. Hol Horse asks Josuke what he would do if his future girlfriend asked him to change his hairstyle, but Josuke just claims that he would beat her up since he doesn't discriminate between men and women. Wondering why Josuke is so harsh, Hol Horse asks why he's so particular about his hairstyle, but Josuke says he doesn't need a reason, it's just a great hairstyle. Josuke changes the subject, thanking Hol Horse for letting him know what a Stand is.
Hol Horse wonders whether Boingo is actually in the station, since he tried asking people around but nobody answered. Josuke defends his town by saying the people are just shy and wary since it's rare for foreigners to come to Morioh. Josuke and Hol Horse arrive at the station and Josuke cheerfully greets the staff. After introducing Hol Horse to them, they realize he is looking for Boingo and explain that Boingo already left with Ryohei. Josuke decides to leave, not wanting to be lectured by his grandfather. Hol Horse then explains to the station staff that he is looking for a parrot.
Ryoko just arrives in front of the station, spotting an argument in the parking lot in front of a convenience store. Rough bikers in leather jackets were arguing with a timid old woman, accusing her of scratching their leader's motorcycle. However, the woman states that her car was parked and the bikers backed into it. They demand money from her, threatening to visit where her husband works. Ryoko then reads the comic book in her hand before confronting the gang. One of them questions whether she's one of Yuya Fungami's girls, whereas another insults her hair. Ryoko uses the insult to her advantage, asking them if they were insulting her hair or the hair of the boy behind her, pointing to Josuke. Enraged, Josuke punches all of the men with his Stand, launching them through the glass of the convenience store. He then causes their bikes to slam into them, crushing their bones. Josuke slowly enters the store and stomps on a biker's face, thinking they said his hair looks like a sitting cushion. While the onlookers were scared, as soon as they opened their eyes again, everything was restored back to normal; the store's glass was repaired, the bikers were healed, and the damage on their bikes were gone. Ryoko advises the old woman to leave before the men get up, showing her that the men's accusation was a lie since the bike has no scratches on it anymore. After the woman drives away, Josuke confronts Ryoko about what she said about his hair. Ryoko asks Josuke if he based his hair on the Nexus-6 model replicant lady from Blade Runner since it doesn't look like a standard pompadour. Josuke doesn't understand whether that's an insult or compliment. He says she wouldn't be popular with the boys in high school, causing Ryoko to explain how she just graduated from high school in spring and is only wearing her uniform because she got back from visiting a grave. Josuke thinks she's in no position to comment on someone else's hair because of her bangs, but Ryoko proudly responds that it's "Kakyoin Hair".
Ryohei arrives at the police station with Boingo and is told by his coworker about the car accident earlier, whose driver was Inspector Hiraoka. Ryohei goes to check the site with other officers, leaving Boingo alone with a young policeman. He asks Boingo some questions, but struggles to communicate with him. The officer gets fed up and mutters to himself thinking Boingo is arrogant for not responding to him, revealing that he is named Kazuki Karaiya. The two sit in silence for some time while Karaiya goes back to doing paperwork. Eventually, he receives a report that Hiraoka is fine and there are no victims. Boingo hears Karaiya click his tongue in disappointment. After Karaiya hangs up the call, Boingo also hears him quietly sing "Sing, sing, Ultimate Singer". Boingo sits in fear until Ryohei comes back. He explains his story to Ryohei and Ryohei inspects his belongings, finding a note with the address and phone number of a hotel. Ryohei calls them and confirms that Boingo is registered as a guest there. Finally, Boingo explains to him the appearance of the comic book he lost. Ryohei steps out again and the other officers gossip about him, saying they've never seen Ryohei get angry. Another officer says he did one time when his daughter got into a fight with a drunk person and Ryohei didn't take the other person's side at all. Ryohei couldn't get promoted because of him having an illegitimate grandson from his daughter being a foreigner's mistress while she was in college. Moreover, his achievements became meaningless because even though Ryohei arrested the serial killer Anjuro Katagiri for his first crime, the case had a bad lawyer so Anjuro just spent some time in a detention centre and went back to committing crimes after he got out. They feel bad for him since Ryohei is a great guy who covers for his coworkers if they make mistakes. Not participating in their conversation, Karaiya shows an interest in the comic book Boingo mentioned.
