User:Ointment

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big sis Jolyne <3

About Me

I'm Ointment. I've been a JJBA fan since mid-2019. My favorite parts are 6 and 8. I'm caught up with the manga, but I haven't read any of the light novels cause I'm lazy. I edit the wiki to cope with the release schedule of Jojolion. I especially love the more unique/bizarre Stands in the series, meaning I actually kind of enjoyed Dragon's Dream. Interestingly, I have almost the exact same height, weight, and build as Jolyne. Given, she's a little taller and way hotter than me. I make some killer chocolate chip cookies, and I drink almost nothing but seltzer water. I love PC gaming.

My JoJo Rankings

Favorite Parts
  1. Jojolion and Stone Ocean
  2. Diamond is Unbreakable
  3. Battle Tendency
  4. Vento Aureo
  5. Steel Ball Run sorry, it'd be higher but the weird shit with Lucy turned me off the part
  6. Phantom Blood
  7. Stardust Crusaders
Favorite JoJos
  1. Gappy and Jolyne
  2. Joseph
  3. Johnny
  4. Josuke
  5. Giorno
  6. Jonathan
  7. Jotaro

Note that I'm basing these on their own parts. Jotaro would be higher if I counted part 6.

Favorite Protagonist Stands
  1. Stone Free
  2. Soft & Wet
  3. Crazy Diamond
  4. Tusk
  5. Gold Experience
  6. Star Platinum

Other Things I Like

TV/Anime
  • Doctor Who
  • Gravity Falls
  • Chihayafuru
  • Land of the Lustrous
Games
  • CrossCode
  • Celeste
  • Divinity: Original Sin 2
  • The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
  • Hollow Knight

Ongoing Jojolion Commentary (SPOILERS!)

My [Now Almost Definitely Wrong] Crackpot Theory

As of Chapter 94, Yasuho is in a pretty rough spot, I think we can all agree. However, I would be extremely disappointed if she actually dies, and as a result I've formulated this theory, partially to cope, but it does have some level of merit, I think. Also, I feel like her death would be unusual narratively, since Gappy isn't even around to see it right now. My thesis: Yasuho's life will be saved by Paisley Park Act 2. Consider a few points:

  • Yasuho is named after Koichi: they are both Hiroses. Koichi's Echoes Act 3 evolved right when he was about to be murdered by Kira.
  • In Chapter 90, Tooru reminds Yasuho of an idea she came up with and told him about years ago. He goes on a tangent about wireless electricity, and it seems kind of out of place. Araki is known for his semi-educational tangents, but they're not usually narrated by an actual character.
  • Paisley Park, while a long range Stand, is short range in its actual ability. With the exception of the Doobie Wah! fight, it can only effect electronics in the actual Stand's vicinity, and can only really travel via electrical cords. This is the limitation preventing Paisley Park from getting out of the toilet.

Put all of this together, and what do I conclude? Paisley Park, Act 2. A Hirose on the brink of death is reminded of an idea she came up with which would result in a great functionality boost to her Stand. This certainly isn't as well supported as the Coronation theory, but I like Yasuho and don't want her to die, especially not at this point in the story.

Favorite JoJo Quotes

Quote.png Quotes
I'm Jolyne Cujoh! I have to seal whatever the priest just obtained!
—Jolyne Cujoh, SO Chapter 96: Jail House Lock!, Part 1
If the world was coming to an end, I've already decided that chocolate would be the last thing I ever eat!
—Jolyne Cujoh, SO Chapter 100: Jail House Lock!, Part 5
My name... is 'Josuke Higashikata'... and my memories from when I was born... are long gone from this world... and they'll never come back... but even so... there's something I'm certain of. I am your son. No matter where I go, or what era I live in, that's something certain that I can believe in. ...Mom... Ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora! I'll save you. I swear it.
—Josuke Higashikata, JJL Chapter 92: The Wonder of You (The Miracle of Your Love), Part 9
Look at me, Jolyne. This is my spirit... this is my intellect... I was alive.
—Foo Fighters, SO Chapter 95: New Moon! New Priest