Funny Valentine (ファニー・ヴァレンタイン, Fanī Varentain) is a secondary antagonist who later becomes a secondary ally, featured in the light novel JORGE JOESTAR. He is an incarnation of the original Funny Valentine, originating from an unknown universe that is in between the 2nd and 37th universes.[a]
Like the original Valentine, he wields the Stand Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap. Due to his Stand, there are several parallel world versions of him.
Appearance
The unknown universe's Funny Valentine and his parallel world versions look exactly the same as the original Funny Valentine from Steel Ball Run. He has a muscular build with long, light hair, distinctively curled at its ends into numerous rings. His cheeks are thin and display prominent cheekbones. His outfit is an overcoat with frilled garments underneath, and a pair of gloves with a net pattern on the top. His sleeves and pants have a thin striped pattern.
Personality
Valentine is a cryptic and theatrical individual. He speaks in riddles, using metaphors and abstract concepts to help Enrico Pucci and Jorge Joestar understand their purpose in the world and how they relate to Dio Brando's fourteen words.[2][3] He believes strongly in self-reliance and individuality, urging Jorge to have faith in himself rather than blindly trusting in others. His catchphrase is "Ta-dah!" (どじゃあ～ん, Dojyan!), which he often says when clapping to use his Stand to transport people away to parallel worlds, acting like it's a magic trick.[3]
Like the other versions of Funny Valentine, this universe's Valentine is profoundly loyal to the United States, regarding it as the center of the world and justifying any action necessary to protect it. One of his ambitions is to safeguard the secret of the Saint's Corpse hidden in Trinity Church, aiming to fulfill that duty even if it would lead to wars or genocide. Since Dio granted Valentine prosperity, Valentine fought on his side to protect that. His dedication to his mission is so absolute that he willingly risks his own life, sacrificing himself in parallel worlds to find a way to stop Kars. He works tactically, coming up with complex strategies alongside The Funniest Valentine, and using his multiple defeats from Kars as a learning experience.[3]
After battling Jorge and Kars, Valentine undergoes a profound transformation in how he views America and his own place in it. Initially, Valentine is driven by a belief that America's greatness hinges on a powerful secret, something that he alone could protect and embody. His ambitions are rooted in a desire to define and control the nation's destiny, even hoping to become synonymous with the country's strength and prosperity. Later, he realizes his decision to honor Dio led to a great deal of misfortune in the world and that the prosperity he was seeking is just a matter of perspective. In his final reflection, Valentine recognizes that America's greatness lies in the people living within it rather than in secrets or in figures like himself.[3]
Abilities
Stand
The unknown universe's Valentine has the same Stand as his original universe counterpart, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (D4C). It enables him to access any number of parallel worlds at any time. He can transport himself, other people, or objects by having the target in between two things. He usually does this by clapping his hands on the target. D4C can transfer itself to be under the control of a parallel world Valentine, allowing him to essentially be immortal as he can swap himself with a parallel world version.[3]
History
JORGE JOESTAR
At some point, Funny meets Dio Brando and becomes his minion. Dio brings him to the first universe on November 11, 1920. When Jorge Joestar's group arrives at London in that universe, Funny greets Enrico Pucci37. Funny reveals that Manhattan Island is the final 'Rhinoceros Beetle'. He gives Pucci hints about the fourteen words, and with his help, Pucci assumes that the two 'Singularities' are his connection with himself. Pucci knows Funny Valentine well in his own universe, but not this version of Funny from another universe, thus creating a 'Spiral Staircase'. Finally, Funny introduces them to the 'Secret Emperor', Dio.[2]
After Dio starts fighting Kars, Funny takes off Dio's cape and then flings it around Jorge. Lisa Lisa tries to stop him by punching Funny's cheek with the Ripple. However, the cape falls onto Jorge anyways and he is teleported to a parallel world along with Funny. Funny's face is momentarily swollen but Jorge notices that he quickly recovers as he swaps himself with a parallel world version.
Parallel Worlds
In the middle of a red desert, Jorge sees a car headed toward him with another 'Funny Valentine' driving it. After getting an explanation of Funny's Stand, Jorge sees many cars racing across the desert. The 'Funny' that was in the car tells Jorge that it's the second stage of the Steel Ball Run, taking place in Monument Valley. He's ordered his men to retrieve nine volumes of the Holy Scriptures. Jorge mentions that one of his ancestors was in the Steel Ball Run, but it was a horse race. 'Funny' responds that the race can change in each world, as some worlds have races with planes and blimps instead.
Jorge finally understands the meaning of the 'Spiral Staircase'. As the universe loops, lives would be reincarnated but their identities wouldn't be the same. Pucci's Made in Heaven was used to reach the next universe, attempting to connect history and create a loop, but instead what he created is a spiral staircase of different universes. 'Funny' mentions that Dio decided to punish Pucci for this sin, and thus he can no longer return to any universe due to Gold Experience Requiem. He changes the subject to mention that in Jorge's universe, the competitors of the race gathered nine Holy Grails, and Johnny Joestar played a major role but had to drop out along the way.
Not caring about the race, Jorge asks why he was brought to this world. 'Funny' reveals that the two 'Singularities' are the body of the holy man and Jorge Joestar. Jorge questions whether he should trust what 'Funny' is saying, but 'Funny' tells him to just have faith in himself. He opens the car, lets Jorge get in, and then the other Funny starts driving them away. Jorge sees a massive cloud headed toward them from behind, which Funny reveals is Kars from this parallel world. In order to conquer Kars, Funny had fought Kars numerous times in different parallel worlds, trying to find a way to seal Kars or send him away. Kars easily tosses this world's 'Funny' aside while the other Funny starts driving faster. Their car crashes and half of Funny's head gets torn off.
Back in the original world at Piccadilly Circus in London, Jorge sees that Funny is somehow still alive. At Dio's cue, Funny runs toward the place where The Funniest Valentine is about to land and then claps his hands as The Funniest falls into his arms. The Funniest vanishes and then Funny leaps toward Kars. With assistance from Dio's The World positioning Funny in place, Funny claps his hands on the Pillar Man. However, as time resumes, Kars quickly contorts his body to avoid the clap. Dio continues trying to stop time as Funny attempts to trap Kars between his palms but Kars would rapidly contort his body as soon as time resumes. In the moment that Kars smirks stating that he has figured out Dio's Stand, Funny finally succeeds in teleporting him to a parallel world. Jorge notices The Funniest's hands sticking out of Funny's hands to extend his reach, revealing that The Funniest has the same Stand as Funny, D4C.
Final Battle
Jorge finds himself in Manhattan Island in The Funniest's parallel world. He meets with Funny, learning that the Funny in Piccadilly Circus was a fake parallel world version and the actual one that Jorge met with Dio was waiting here for Jorge. Funny notes that since Jorge is a singularity, he is the key to defeating Dio's Stand The Passion which could see the future, and that Kars has realized this. Funny then teleports Jorge to a parallel Morioh, where Kars is.
Traveling back in time one hour due to Bites the Dust, Jorge and Kars arrive at Piccadilly Circus again with Funny about to teleport Kars again, but this time Jorge knows what would happen. Jorge yells out to Kars that Funny will clap twice, allowing Kars to instantly react to both claps. Kars sends Funny flying away with a punch but Dio unleashes the next part of his plan. Funny finds a parallel version of Dio and nine parallel versions of The Funniests who could use D4C and brings them back with him, whereas The Funniest brings nine parallel versions of Funny with D4C from his world. The parallel Dio grabs Kars from behind him, as the group of eighteen parallel Valentines surround Kars. 36 hands clap down on Kars and he vanishes once more along with the other Dio. Meanwhile, the group of Funnys collides with the group of The Funniests and they disintegrate into Menger sponges.
As Dio starts speeding up time, Funny and The Funniest discover that Dio is headed for the past beyond the future. They reveal that the Valentines have two duties as leaders of the United States. Their first is to intervene in the Steel Ball Run race and their second is to protect the secret held underground at Trinity Church, the Saint's Corpse. The corpse was gathered by their ancestor, the original Funny Valentine from the 2nd universe during the first Steel Ball Run. They realize now that the corpse of the "holy man" was actually just the body parts of Dio, separated from his fight with Kars. Funny calls his wife Scarlet who verifies that the Trinity Church in their universe does not have the Saint's Corpse.
They arrive at Trinity Church in the second universe, where Funny leads them to the secret underground facility. Funny assists Jorge in the battle against Dio, residing in a parallel world within Jorge's stomach. From there, Funny sends out seven parallel world Kars, each having their own The World Ultimate. He gives Jorge a hatchet to cut off the supplemental head on the Saint's Corpse. When the battle is over, Funny goes back to his own universe. He states that he has learned his lesson and America will truly prosper due to its people, rather than from collecting artifacts.[3]
Chapters
Novel Appearances- JORGE JOESTAR Chapter 14: Desolation Row (1st appearance)
- JORGE JOESTAR Chapter 16: Beyond II
Quotes
Quotes- “We've come to meet you. To take you to the island that will become the center of the world. It is, of course, in our United States.”—Funny Valentine, JORGE JOESTAR Chapter 14: Desolation Row
- “Think! What is a singularity but a point? A point is but part of a line. A line is a connection. And what is a connection?”—Funny Valentine, JORGE JOESTAR Chapter 14: Desolation Row
- “I am me but at the same time I am not. How can this be true? I believe you know the answer, Father Pucci.”—Funny Valentine, JORGE JOESTAR Chapter 14: Desolation Row
- “Allowing something as fearsome as that man to live free is always a threat.”—Funny Valentine, JORGE JOESTAR Chapter 16: Beyond II
- “Perhaps our decision to honor him has led to a great deal of misfortune in the world.”—Funny Valentine, JORGE JOESTAR Chapter 16: Beyond II
- “I wanted to uncover the secret to America's prosperity. And I wanted to protect that secret. And if I'm totally honest I sort of wanted to be that secret. But I've learned my lesson. What makes America great is the people who live in it, not anyone lying underground or in the heavens above. And that lesson will be my treasure.”—Funny Valentine, JORGE JOESTAR Chapter 16: Beyond II
Gallery
Funny Valentine with Dio Brando
Fighting Kars
Explaining The Passion
The Funniest Valentine and Funny
Valentine learns his lesson
2020 Artwork
Multiple Funny Valentines
Holy Scriptures
Group of parallel Funny Valentines destroyed
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Notes
- ↑ When meeting him, Jorge Joestar initially states that this younger Funny is from the first universe where Lisa Lisa and George Joestar II are from. However, his assumption is incorrect. In JORGE JOESTAR Chapter 16: Beyond II, The Funniest Valentine and this Funny calls the president from the Steel Ball Run race the first Funny Valentine, referring to him as their ancestor from 35 loops ago. Thus, the first universe has no Funny Valentine, the second universe has the one from Steel Ball Run, and this Valentine is from a universal loop after that.
References
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 JORGE JOESTAR Chapter 6: Island
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 JORGE JOESTAR Chapter 14: Desolation Row
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 JORGE JOESTAR Chapter 16: Beyond II