Pork Pie Hat Kid

"You're the bait, Gyro Zeppeli!"

- Pork Pie Hat Kid to Gyro Zeppeli

Pork Pie Hat Kid (ポーク・パイ・ハット小僧) is a minor antagonist featured in the 7th part of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Steel Ball Run, introduced in the "Tusk" story arc.

Pork Pie Hat Kid is one of Funny Valentine's henchmen and attacks Johnny Joestar and Gyro Zeppeli in the desert to take their Saint Corpse Parts. He also happens to be a Stand User wielding the double hooked Wired.

Appearance
Pork Pie Hat Kid appears like a skinny and short young boy, hiding his bald head with bamboo sticks. Unlike most characters, he is unattractive, having a large and angular jawline and baring his teeth constantly. In contrast to the usual character design, Pork Pie Hat Kid possesses large black irises.

Pork Pie Hat Kid wears a sleeveless suit, open and laced at the back and decorated with studs arranged vertically on both sides of the chest and both legs, as well as short feathers on the shoulder and finally a tutu-like short dress. He also wears large bracelets adorned with leaves on both wrists.

Because of his Stand Wired, Pork Pie Hat Kid's tongue has two hook shaped cavities and the bottom of his mouth two wheels around of which the cables of Wired can roll.

Personality
Pork Pie Hat Kid appears to be a goofy and deranged individual. He seems to have little conception of normalcy and shows several disturbing habits. For instance, he has a tendency to eat and drink anything that comes into his view such as the ink of a pen (finding it delicious) or a whole coffee pot, and even wonders if he could eat his broken teeth. He is also shown hitting a bag with a rock to search it instead of opening it. Like any of Valentine's subordinates, he has little problem with using violence and killing his targets.

Likewise, his speech reflects his eccentricity as he cannot correctly pronounce Johnny's name and regularly utters the indescribable shout "Gwee-Gachang (ギイイーガシャン)".

His motivation of searching for the Corpse Parts is to get a promotion and be acknowledged as being "invincible and smart", hinting that he is aware that people look down on him and is uncomfortable with it.

Despite his quirks, Pork Pie Hat Kid is still shown to be a capable tactician in a Stand fight. Aware of his primary objective of securing the Corpse Parts, he takes the time to analyze the situation and is shown to devise several plans to counter the enemy actions, at one point using Gyro as a bait after having predicted that Johnny would come to save his companion or release Slow Dancer near Johnny to weaponize the horse' instinctual will to go to its rider and then detect the hidden Johnny.

Stand
Pork Pie Hat Kid possesses a Stand ability named Wired consisting of two hooks coming out of his mouth, which he can freely control and make appears out of the bottom of miscellaneous objects, allowing him to attack his targets from afar.

History
Pork Pie Hat Kid is one of Valentine's Subordinates. He is first seen standing guard on the roof of Valentine's train. When Lucy Steel almost spills a coffee pot on Valentine, Pork Pie Hat Kid uses Wired to take it and drink the whole pot before returning it to her. Pork Pie Hat Kid is then dispatched to find the Corpse Part.

In the plains just before Monument Valley, Pork Pie Hat Kid sets up his trap. He sets camp on a rocky mound and installs his Stand to hook his targets through the falling feathers of nearby vultures.

Since it is suspected that Gyro has the Corpse Part, Pork Pie Hat Kid targets him first. He hooks Gyro and then his horse right under Johnny's nose. Gyro is hung on a rock nearby by the hair. He finds a broken pen and drinks its ink. However, Pork Pie Hat Kid doesn't find the Corpse Part and thus attacks Johnny. He takes Johnny's horse from under him then tries to hook Johnny. However, Johnny escapes by cutting his cheek. Johnny also sees the method of Wired's attack and manages to hide under a rock.

Pork Pie Hat Kid changes from feathers to beetles, and Johnny knocks a beetle over, allowing Wired's hook to pass through and hook Johnny up close. However, Tusk appears and activates Johnny's toenails. The nails pass through the beetles and almost hit Pork Pie Hat Kid, who's forced to bend backward to avoid the attack and stops his own. When he looks in the bowl again, Johnny has camouflaged himself. He also realizes that Gyro has thrown a Steel Ball in the bowl to give his location. Frustrated, he knocks Gyro with his hooks but Pork Pie Hat Kid is ready for Johnny. As Johnny approaches, Pork Pie Hat Kid scans the land. Frustrated, he sends Slow Dancer back to Johnny so that the horse and sense its owner and go in his general location. Pork Pie Hat Kid then sends oil and a match, setting the ground on fire. He seemingly fires Johnny and tears him apart but Johnny has sculpted a decoy with his nails, Pork Pie Hat Kid is open and Johnny shoots him through the feather.

Pork Pie Hat Kid is wounded but wait for Johnny to come. He turns Gyro into a bait and hooks Johnny through the Neapolitan when Johnny approaches him. Johnny is unable to hit him now. Pork Pie Hat Kid forces Johnny to give him the corpse part, threatening to kill his friend. With the hand obtained, Pork Pie Hat Kid attempts to run away and plans to dispose of the two anyway. However, Gyro has managed to apply the Spin to the Arm's nails; they shoot Pork Pie Hat Kid in the face, marking Pork Pie Hat Kid's defeat.

According to the President's men, Pork Pie Hat Kid did not die, but for the confrontation with Johnny and Gyro, he will remain disabled for the rest of his life.