Funny Valentine (ファニー・ヴァレンタイン Fanī Varentain) is a main antagonist featured in the seventh part of the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure series, Steel Ball Run, as well as the sixth main antagonist of the series overall.
Funny Valentine is the 23rd President of the United States and the true mastermind behind the Steel Ball Run race. He watches the competition from behind the curtains and hopes to gather the Saint's Corpse as a means to further the United States' ambitions.
Throughout the narrative, Valentine adopts two main appearances, differing greatly in build. He is originally introduced as an old, stout, overweight man, but around the time he takes the rib cage of the Saint, gains a more fit, muscular and handsome appearance. Araki attributes this to his naturally changing art style but also jokes that it is simply because Valentine "worked out."
After this, it is revealed that spanning his back, Valentine bears deep scars, in a pattern resembling that of the 21st-century flag of the United States.
He consistently wears long, light hair, curling at its ends into a number of thick, well-defined rings (perhaps as a reference to the white periwigs and hairstyles of the 18th century, as worn by several early United States Presidents).
He also normally dons a smooth, uniform outfit, including an overcoat closed to the end of his torso. Under which he wears frilled garments and a pair of gloves with a net pattern on the upper half.
Funny Valentine is a dignified but immoral patriot, militant in his will to accomplish what he thinks is best for the United States.
Valentine's foremost characteristic is his deep patriotism. Marked by the gruesome fate of his father, Valentine's goal is for the United States to stand over the rest of the world. To do so, he seeks the blessing of the Saint Corpse Parts, becoming ecstatic when the Corpse blesses him. Moreover, the President shows a great degree of determination toward this goal. First acting through his subordinates, Valentine then takes a greater active part in seizing the Saint's Corpse, confronting his enemies personally if need be, and ultimately claiming that he has no problem putting his life on the line to fulfill his objectives. He also manages to regain his composure even facing the eternal torture that Tusk ACT4 has inflicted on him. One of his expressed fears is to have someone petty or worse seizing the Corpse and taking away the happiness that should go into the United States.
Despite this, Valentine is also callous about the lives of individual Americans, never hesitating to sacrifice his own subordinates in his quest for the Corpse and going as far as to kill them himself if he deems it necessary. He also cruelly trapped a train engineer halfway through a mirror just to assure himself on one advantage. His patriotism also comes with some hypocritical egotism. Despite his declared goal of working for the interests of the country, he regularly declares that his goals are fulfilled and after witnessing Love Train's ability, shouted that everything, including power and glory, was now his. Notably, when he was infatuated with Lucy Steel disguised as his wife, Valentine tried to sexually assault her and declared that she would bear his child, saying that he wanted a dynasty to ensure the United States would remain at the top (and by that disregarded the country's democratic roots).
Valentine is a ruthless individual, having a might-makes-right attitude toward the world, constantly using the metaphor of "taking the napkin first" to signify his gain in power. He thinks that power is founded on authority, and part of the reason he wants the Corpse is to obtain a spiritual authority on par with the Vatican. Convinced that not everyone's wishes can be fulfilled and one must always sacrifice something for the sake of another, Valentine chooses to put the United States' prerogatives above the interests of the rest of the world. Valentine respects ambition and ruthlessness and ultimately entrusts the Corpse to an alternate Diego Brando. On the other hand, he looks down on Steven Steel's less ambitious goals, calling his will superficial. Claiming that his methods require the least sacrifices possible, they still liberally involve murder and generally violence, as well as manipulation of the people around him.
In and out of combat, Valentine shows a careful and observant side, regularly watching and thinking about the situation to best see his strengths and vulnerabilities. Firstly, he's made great care to disguise his search behind the Steel Ball Run race to leave rival countries behind but also closely watched the race, following the racers inside a train and having an underling both stand watch within the participants or recruiting them afterward, or standing ready to ambush the duo. Valentine also understandably keeps tabs on the whereabouts of the Corpse Parts, which after killing Axl RO, allows him to deduce that the infiltrator who broke into his residence was still near him. His observant nature makes him see through Diego Brando's disguise when the latter tries to approach him, and suspect Gyro's determination in their clash that something is amiss, fully grasping (with the help of a lucky wind gust) the danger the Spin poses to him and how it works. However, when confronting Johnny, Valentine commits a fatal mistake in underestimating the Spin, conceitedly allowing Johnny a last "futile" attempt at shooting him.
Valentine also demonstrates a generally dignified and composed attitude. In attitude, he is a polite man, among others using the formal and neutral pronoun "Watashi" (わたし) for himself, and almost never losing his composure enough to insult someone. He possesses a code of honor, first putting his patriotism above his own interests, and is a man of his words, never killing Steven Steel despite having reasons to, only because he swore an oath. Valentine also respects the prowess of his adversaries, notably admiring the Spin technique as Ball Breaker tries to breach the dimensional wall.
Nonetheless, Valentine will twist this code whenever convenient and isn't above lying to gain an advantage, notably feeding Johnny with false hopes and half-truths to persuade him into releasing him from Tusk. He also isn't above some petty moments such as slamming one of his men into another dimension to get rid of him or stomping Steven Steel's wounds to make him suffer as frivolous revenge for him slightly thwarting his plans. During his earlier appearances, Valentine emoted much more, slightly losing his cool on several occasions and also privately calling Diego a "peasant" for having the gall to negotiate with his person on the same level.
Funny Valentine is generally polite but cold toward any individual. The only person he's admitted to having loved is his father, confessing to having been searching for him across multiple universes, although that claim is dubious. Despite his marriage with Scarlet and the two sharing a certain fondness for each other, Valentine only appeared to be a little disturbed by her death. Finally, Valentine keeps a professional distance with his subordinates at best, only caring that they fulfill his orders, whether they die or not.
Valentine has a somewhat humorous quirk: he likes to take afternoon naps and orders everyone around him not to disturb him when he sleeps.
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
- Main article: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Valentine's Stand, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (D4C), enables him access at any time to any number of alternate worlds/universes/dimensions; where if desired he may swap bodies with his counterparts, granting him pseudo-immortality. This requires him to get caught between two objects (for example, a flag and the ground or a sofa and the wall). This limits D4C's ability but not by much since he has gotten caught between water and the bottom of the ocean as a method of using his ability before.
D4C Love Train
- Main article: D4C Love Train
When Lucy develops Ticket to Ride, Valentine may utilize a protective wall of light emanating from her which deflects all misfortune, bolstering his defense further as he becomes effectively invincible. He names this complementary ability "D4C - Love Train".
Charisma: Valentine is an accomplished politician, and enjoyed a high enough popularity to become President. Valentine demonstrates his charisma when he's able to negotiate with Johnny Joestar and perform a great enough speech to convince the jockey that he has the moral high ground, all that with a short amount of time to prepare.
Multi-instrumentalist: Aside from the mandolin, Valentine has displayed a talent in playing the violin. He and his wife Scarlet seem to have performed together, him at the violin while Scarlet sings and flip the music sheets for him.
When Funny was a child, his father went to war, and never came back. One day, a soldier named Captain Valentine came to Funny's house. Captain Valentine then told the story of Funny's father. Showing a handerchief with a date sewn on it, Valentine told Funny how his father had been captured by the enemy and was subjected to torture because the enemy wanted to learn about his company. However, Funny's father never revealed anything, because of the handkerchief where Funny's birth date was sewn, reminding him that he was protecting his family and country. Captain Valentine had retrieved this handkerchief and visited Funny to honor a friend and impart the importance of patriotism to the boy.
It is implied that Funny's mother remarried with Captain Valentine some time later as he is now known as Funny Valentine.
Now a young man, Valentine joined the army. At some point, he was captured by the enemy and brutally tortured, leaving scars spanning his back (in a pattern resembling that of the flag of the United States). During an army exercise in the San Diego desert, Valentine's company perished as they entered a Devil's Palm. Unable to find their way, the entire company died, save Valentine who encountered the Heart, which fused to his chest. He managed to return to civilization. From his encounter with the Heart, Valentine realized that there must be other Corpse Part forming a whole body and decided to seek them out, so that the US could benefit from it.
Valentine then started a political career. Thanks to his political prowess and popularity, Valentine became the 23rd President of the United States in 1889. At that time, Valentine met Steven Steel, who wanted to organize his Steel Ball Run. Interested, Valentine became a secret backer of the race and took over the race's organization so that it would come close to the hiding spots of the Corpse Part. Hopefully, Stand Users would stumble upon the Corpse Parts and then collect them for Valentine. Steel was forced to become one of his unwilling agents.
Soon, while being a representative in the US Congress, Valentine discovered the map of Joseph of Arimathea. Valentine then participated in a Puritan search party travelling to the first cross in the map near San Diego, without realizing the importance of the map, and found the Heart. He was also the lone survivor of his party and testified that his party was caught in quicksand, hence their deaths.
15 years before the events of Steel Ball Run, Valentine met his future wife Scarlet. She was then a student and he was someone from her home town. They met at a party and Valentine impressed Scarlet with his silent footsteps and by playing the mandolin with his feet. Later on, Funny and Scarlet married together.
Steel Ball Run (1890-1891)
Monitoring The Steel Ball Run
When the Steel Ball Run starts, Valentine keeps an eye on its progress.
At the beginning of the race, Valentine makes a train his temporary headquarters. In here, he follows the Steel Ball Run, receiving reports from spies and other subordinates. He receives a message from Oyecomova who informs him that Gyro Zeppeli probably found a Devil's Palm. During a meeting with Steven Steel, Valentine informs the promoter of this and notes that Gyro will be disposed of. This shock Steel who was unaware there would be bloodshed. He then shows Steel Joseph of Arimathea's map and orders him to make sure the race is a success. Lucy Steel inadvertently enter the wagon bringing coffee, but one of Valentine's assistants blocks her path. Lucy spills the coffee, but Pork Pie Hat Kid, who is positioned on the roof of the train, takes and drinks all of it before Valentine can be splashed. At the end of the second stage, Valentine sees that Pork Pie Hat Kid has failed and that Gyro Zeppeli is still alive. However, his men have retrieved Pork Pie Hat Kid's item and notably a piece of clothing one which the words "movere crus" were burned. Valentine shotguns a can of beer and uses the can to verify that the Corpse Part Pork Pie Hat Kid was in contact with is an arm. He thus deduces that it is Johnny Joestar who had the arm and shifts his focus to him. He orders his men to send in Dr. Ferdinand. Valentine suddenly feels he's being observed and checks outside the train, but sees no one. In truth, Lucy Steel has eavesdropped on his conversation and seen the Heart on his chest.
Valentine overtakes the racers and installs a new headquarter in Kansas City. Receiving reports of Johnny Joestar and Gyro Zeppeli going missing, Valentine questions why the balloons cannot follow these two and his assistant argues that it is still difficult to follow someone with a balloon. Valentine then wonders if Steel is being uncooperative. However, he cannot dispose of him yet. Unbeknownst to him, he's being spied on by Lucy from the other side of the street. Valentine and Blackmore go to the roof where the aviary is kept and checks on it to see if Ringo Roadagain's messenger pigeons have arrived. Blackmore guesses correctly that Ringo's pigeons must have recently arrived but also that someone broke in the cage. Valentine spots a feather coming out of under the cage and sees the pigeon flying away. Blackmore retrieves the pigeon but the capsule it carries is empty. Someone has stolen Ringo's message. Unbeknownst to him, the thief is Lucy Steel who, fearing for Steven's safety, has decided to work against Valentine. Valentine's men scour the building but the thief escapes by a hair's breadth without being seen. However, Blackmore notices that the thief has used the phone, although he follows the trail, Blackmore is eventually killed.
By the time the top competitors cross the finish line of the 4th stage in Kansas City, Valentine only knows that Blackmore made a call 5 km from the city but that the line was suddenly cut. Although he knows Mountain Tim was involved, Valentine remains focused on the unknown traitor. Diego Brando calls for a meeting in an alley and Valentine sends one of his men to meet the jockey, observing from a nearby roof. Diego reveals that he knows about the Saint's Corpse but is ready to sell the Right Eye for mayorship of Manhattan Island; he then reveals that he also knows about the existence of the traitor. Valentine is forced to accept the deal and reveals Sandman to Diego, as he made a similar deal with the Indian to retrieve the Corpse Parts from Johnny and Gyro.
Valentine then goes to a presidential residence in Chicago, where he's joined by his wife Scarlet. He also meets Wekapipo at one point and hires him, promising the exiled Neapolitan a US citizenship, right of permanence residence and a high-ranking position in the government for him and any potential family if he kills Johnny and Gyro. The survivor of the Eleven Men retrieves the Ears and Right Arm from Johnny and the next day, Diego informs his agent Mike O. that the traitor is probably a woman weighting 51 kg. Although no women were allowed in his government building in Kansas City and although the traitor isn't a Stand User, Valentine decides to have Mike O. investigate every woman related to the staff. Valentine permits the execution of the traitor on the spot.
Later, Valentine takes one of his afternoon naps but wakes up as Scarlet walks in. In truth, it is Lucy Steel, disguised as Scarlet thanks to Hot Pants' Cream Starter. Questioning "Scarlet" about her sudden appearance, Valentine is surprised when she pretends to want to play with his lips and sneakily makes him ingest a sleeping drug hidden in her nail. Valentine goes asleep and Lucy steals his Corpse Part. Nonetheless, the operation goes awry and Valentine wakes up surrounded by guards. Valentine realizes that his Corpse Parts have been stolen, but he thankfully retrieves the Right Arm and Spine. However, Hot Pants steals the Ears and Heart. For her part, "Scarlet" is safe. The real Scarlet has died and is disguised as Lucy.
During the seventh stage, Valentine is informed of Johnny and Gyro's movement towards Gettysburg. With all the Corpse Part save the Head being accounted for, Valentine deems that it is time for him to act. Valentine goes to Gettysburg and shoots Axl RO, whom he'd sent earlier to attack the heroes, "saving" Johnny from him and thus committing no sin, allowing Valentine to avoid being attacked by Axl's Civil War. He is able to retrieve the nearly completed Saint's Corpse and leaves unimpeded. With only the Eyes and Head missing, Valentine plans to dispose of Diego Brando, and also realizes that since neither Johnny nor Hot Pants had the Right Eye, that must mean the unknown traitor has it.
On December 28, 1890, 2:45 PM, Valentine and Scarlet participate in a music session. He takes the occasion to confront his "wife", knowing that she is an impostor, and confesses that she is strangely charming. The Right Eye falls out of Lucy's pocket and rolls towards the Corpse' hiding spot in an adjacent room. Valentine notices her interest in the room and in return, she asks him the reason of his interest in the race to change the subject of the conversation. Valentine thus explains himself, his philosophy and how obtaining the Corpse will allow America to stand atop the world.
Excited by his speech, Valentine forces himself on "Scarlet", who draws a knife and tries to stab him. Valentine grabs her wrist at first but Lucy surprises him by shedding her disguise. Valentine is shocked to see her and is stabbed in the throat. However, he goes to another dimension and another Valentine takes his place. When he returns, Lucy has disappeared and her boots are scattered in the corridor. However, Valentine uses Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap to examine a parallel universe and sees that Lucy has tried to trick him and is in fact hiding in the room where the Corpse is stored. Threatening to kill her loved ones if she commits suicide, Valentine breaks down the door, only to find that the Saint's Corpse has merged with Lucy and that she is the host of the Head as well.
On December 28, 1890 16:05 PM, Valentine spots Diego trying to infiltrate the Independence Hall and lures him outside. He and his agent D-I-S-C-O go to a park nearby to confront Diego, Wekapipo, Johnny and Gyro. While D-I-S-C-O fights Gyro at 16:10 PM, Valentine shoots Johnny but Johnny escapes in the sewers before he can finish him off. He also makes three universes coexist to make Diego and Wekapipo also shoot alternate Johnnys, confusing the witnesses. Valentine then attacks Diego and Wekapipo. His abilities are still unknown to the two, allowing him escape being pinned to a wall. He returns to the base world and while Wekapipo handicaps him, Valentine manages to leave with a flag and then drags Diego into an alternate universe. Trapping him inside of the flag, Valentine extracts the Left Eye. The two Diegos begin to disintegrate and Valentine leaves, but is shot in the throat by an alternate Johnny Diego has led to their location. Shot from behind as he runs to a door, Valentine still escapes back to the base world with the Eye as he closes the door on himself, leaving his alternate self for dead.
After seeing Lucy for what she truly is, he holds her until the Corpse's power is at its fullest. He hires D-I-S-C-O to stall Gyro so he can kill Johnny himself. Using Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, he sends both Diego Brando and Wekapipo (both have since defected from Valentine's employ) to alternate dimensions to shoot Johnny and eliminate the three at once. He fights Wekapipo and Diego with the odds in his favor, then Diego uses Scary Monsters to guide Johnny to safety and shoot Valentine. However, Valentine uses his Stand to replace his dying body. Angered, Valentine still promises Lucy that he won't bring harm to Steven and then tears the message. Valentine also disposes of the coach driver that brought Lucy by slamming him into another universe.
Valentine then joins a ship, the USS Blue Hawaii, and uses the Eyes to watch Lucy and talk to her from afar. Lucy doesn't recognizes the voice and she and Steven are lured to his boat. Lucy tries to attack him with a tear blade but Valentine stops her. Creeping up on her, Valentine notices that she's torn a piece of her skirt and hidden it to tip his enemies. He reaches a trainyard and takes off in a train to go to New Jersey with Lucy. He also forces the train engineer to constantly make the train advance, trapping him halfway inside a mirror while killing an alternate self so that the train engineer must always hold the acceleration lever or die. Meanwhile, he's pursued by Diego, Hot Pants, Johnny and Gyro.
The blessing of the Saint's Corpse
In the train, Ticket to Ride begins to take form and Valentine sees Diego and Hot Pants pursuing him. To slow them, Valentine takes alternate Diego and Hot Pants from a neighbouring universe and tosses them out of the train so that they disintegrate each other. In the train, Valentine observes Lucy's horrific transformation and realizes that he isn't a mere host but the Head itself. Suddenly, Diego leaps to attack. The jockey and Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap begin a close quarters fight but Diego is faster and cuts Valentine. The jockey promises to gouge his organs out. Valentine tries to close a door on himself to flee but Hot Pants prevents him from closing the door. The President tries to jump between a sofa and the wall but Diego kicks the sofa out of the way and attacks. When Valentine tries to defend himself, Diego cuts both of his hands. Valentine then tries to hide in a curtain but Hot Pants' arm lifts it out of the way and Diego slashes his throat. Luckily, a jug of water spills on him and the water allows Valentine to go to another Universe and transfer his powers and memories to another body. Valentine returns to the base world via a drawer, knocking out Hot Pants and bringing two Valentines with him. Although it seems the three Valentines have the advantage, Hot Pants disguises Diego in the middle of the struggle, confusing the Presidents. In that moment of hesitation, two Valentines are killed by Diego. Valentine tries to flee through a window but Diego follows him and shoves the glass shards out of the way. When Diego drives his fist in the President's throat and cuts open his chest, it seems the jockey has secured his win. But then, a bit of Valentine's hair is caught under the wheels of the train. Using this opportunity, the nearly dead Valentine locks his legs around Diego and drags him under the train while he personally goes to another worlds and switches with another Valentine. Diego is cut is half and dies.
Valentine returns to witness strange spatial phenomenons occuring that merge Hot Pants with random objects and kill her. Seeing that there is a convergence of the world around Lucy, Valentine understands that a new ability from the Saint's Corpse is manifesting itself and discovers a "gap" in space, a flat pocket dimension deliminted by a wall of light. Valentine then notices Johnny outside of the train. Johnny shoots four nails and the bullet holes pursue the President. He slams the holes between the pages of a journal, expecting to be able to make them disappear, but the holes persist in the base world and begin to destroy his arms. Valentine is hit twice more in the wrists but decides to put his hands in the gap. The damage is then transferred to a nearby farmer, who dies in Valentine's stead. Understanding the power of the Corpse, Valentine becomes ecstatic.
Valentine then completely enters the gap and pilots it towards Johnny. That way he is able to get out of the train to attack. Johnny's nails hit the wall of light and the "bad" is redirected to other countries where people die in Valentine's stead. Valentine pursues Johnny and has D4C take an arm ouf of the gap to karate chop him, but he is interrupted by a Steel Ball thrown by Gyro. Still, Valentine is invincible inside of the gap and D4C swipes at Gyro, causing a scratch that becomes a heart wound. Valentine almost reaches Johnny but the jockey shoots the coupling of the train and detaches the locomotive. Valentine's wagon slows and Johnny and able to get out of range.
Surprisingly for Valentine, the two horseriders do not flee but prepare to charge the train. After reassuring Lucy that although she will die, a goddees will be born in her place, the President steps out of his train and hides in the gap again. Controlling the shape of the gap, Valentine hides under the train tracks to single out Johnny. He eventually catches up to the jockey and cuts off his hand. D4C slams Johnny to the ground. Gyro throws a Steel Ball but it has no effect. Suddenly, Valentine is distracted by a mouse and is pulled away before he can kill Johnny. It is Steven Steel, who has carried Lucy out of the train and begs Gyro to take her away. Valentine rushes to attack Gyro but he narrowly misses him. The Neapolitan is able to ride away with Lucy. Angered, Valentine slams Steven against the car but refrains from killing him, as he promised. He nonetheless stomps him to calm his frustration.
Valentine follows Gyro towards the Atlantic, still wondering why the two persist in challenging him. However, he knows that Gyro must have a trick up his sleeves. When the wind blows, Valentine realizes that he's missing his entire left ear and understands what the Spin can do. Gyro charges at him on his horse and Valentine roughly grasps Gyro's plan of attack. He uses the surrounding water to go to other dimensions and brings two other Valentines with him as decoy. Moreover, he transfers D4C to a counterpart so that the one with the missing ear can also trick Gyro. However, the Neapolitan sees through the trick and strikes D4C with his Steel Ball. A new Stand, Ball Breaker, appears and breaks through the wall of light and ages his body considerably. However, Valentine is not killed. In a miraculous stroke of luck, Gyro's sphere has crossed the wall of light midair before hitting D4C, causing an infinitesimal part of it to be scraped off and undoing the perfectly spherical shape of the projectile. Thus, Valentine was spared the full power of the ability. Before charging again, Gyro imparts his last Spin lesson to Johnny. When Gyro attacks again, Ball Breaker isn't even able to reach him and Valentine slashes Gyro's stomach, dealing a mortal wound. Gyro dies. To seal the deal, Valentine empties his revolver on Gyro's corpse.
Overwhelmed by grief and rage, Johnny charges at Valentine but forgets to produce the Super Spin. Johnny wastes nine nails as Valentine hides in the waves, only to reappear from the other side of Johnny's horse to slash its throat. Johnny is unhorsed. Sure of his victory, Valentine approaches Johnny and deems him to be the final sacrifice. As Johnny has one nail left, the President dares him to fire it. However, Johnny finally understands Gyro's last lesson. Using Gyro's Steel Ball, Johnny throws it at Slow Dancer's leg, causing a kick reflex and sending Johnny flying. Furthermore, it means Johnny has also asborbed the energy of the Spin from the horse and unlocks Tusk ACT4. Johnny then fires his pinky nail.
Seeing Tusk ACT 4, Valentine understands his mistake and desperately recalls D4C inside of the light. However, when the nail collides with the wall, Tusk opens the wall and enters the gap in space to pummel D4C and Valentine to the ground so hard it creates a hole. Valentine flees by using his coat but finds himself buried alive since he hopped to another Universe from under the ground level. He still manages to transfer D4C to another Valentine who immediately heads out to kill Johnny. Suddenly, Valentine sees his foot turned the wrong way and realizes that his body is being hit by an infinite Spin, so powerful that every atom in his body is spinning and forcing him to return to the hole on the ground. Suffocating, Valentine tries to hop into another universe and go as quickly as possible in the base world, only to be pulled into the ground again and again. Even if he trains to take a coach away from the hole, the Spin forces him back. Valentine thus faces the possibility of buried alive forever in the hole, which nearly breaks his spirit.
However, Valentine then remembers Captain Valentine's lesson of patriotism. Determined to kill Johnny, Valentine prepares his retaliation. First, he finds a Diego Brando from a Parallel World, to whom he reveals everything and asks to take the Saint's Corpse because he at least respects Diego's ambition. He thus hides Diego with him when he comes back to the base world and confronts Johnny alone. He also takes a Cream Starter from another Hot Pants.
Valentine attemps to negotiate with Johnny and offers him to bring another Gyro Zeppeli so that Johnny can see his friend again, and guarantees that he won't pursue them anymore. In exchange, Johnny would shoot him with an infinite Spin in the reverse direction to cancel the effects of Tusk. Shocked, Johnny argues that it won't be the same Gyro, but Valentine dismisses the argument, stating that no matter what, "Gyro Zeppeli" will be alive in the base world. Valentine then explains himself and says that he wanted the Saint's Corpse for the United States' sake and bring eternal blessing to his country as well as protect it from its enemies. Valentine states that it was his duty as a President to retrieve the Corpse and claims that his plan involved as little bloodshed as possible. Because of his duty, Valentine cannot die there on the coast. Johnny is shaken by Valentine's speech but demands more guarantees. Valentine thus gives Cream Starter to Johnny so that he can heal his companions. Finally, Valentine shows that he is a man of his word by showing his father's handkerchief, explaining his story, and swears on his father's handkerchief that he will not take revenge.
Johnny believes Valentine... but tosses Valentine's old discarded revolver (which he shot Gyro's corpse with) at him and asks the President to pick it up, just to be sure. However, Valentine is hiding the same revolver behind him. Valentine draws his gun and sends D4C to attack Johnny; he hits Johnny in the guts. However, Johnny shoots him in the throat. Not dead yet, Valentine fires again but misses the vitals while Johnny hits Valentine in the chest. Johnny shoots a final bullet right in Valentine's forehead. The President dies, and his Corpse is dragged underground by the Super Spin, never to be seen again.
At the conclusion of Steel Ball Run, it is mentioned that despite Valentine's disappearance from the public eye at the end of the race, he attained approval ratings as high as 91%. Ironically, the heads of state of every nation sent distinctions to him.
Valentine is a playable character in All Star Battle (PS3), he was the last standard character confirmed for the game, alongside "Kosaku Kawajiri". As a Part 7 character, three parts of the Holy Corpse appear scattered on stages when he, Johnny, or Gyro are used, which they can pick up to receive blessings that boost their performance in combat. Valentine has the lowest health in the game, reflecting his many "deaths" throughout the part. Valentine is both the only playable villain and "Stand" Style fighter in Part 7. Valentine can turn Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap on/off, changing move-sets, as well as have access to the Stand Rush ability returning from the Capcom game, being able to attack in conjunction with his Stand.
During a fight, Valentine showcases skills and feats he had performed throughout Steel Ball Run.
- Throw - A hindrance to my country (おまえはこの国の未来への「幸せ」を邪魔している): D4C throws the opponent high into the air with one hand and jabs them with the other in the abdomen as they fall, throwing them away and onto the ground afterward.
While D4C is off:
- It's merely self-defense (正当なる防衛だよ): Valentine pulls out a revolver and shoots the opponent six times with it, before tossing it away.
- A gift from the other side (あっち側から連れて来た): Valentine twirls a flag around him as another Valentine comes out from behind it, delivers a flying kick to the opponent, then disappears using his own flag.
- Hiding in the next dimension (隣の次元へ逃れて隠れなくては…………): Valentine jumps, directly upward, forward, or backward, as he pulls out a flag and uses it to hide in another dimension. If the attack button inputted is held, Valentine will stay in hiding for longer. This move can be used to evade all attacks and projectiles completely and can even retaliate when the opponent is open. However, the opponent themselves can catch Valentine with an attack as he's falling after having returned, with enough anticipation. (Comboable)
- He's gone?! (消えた！！？): A counter. Valentine poses. If the opponent hits him in that moment with a non-Throw/HHA/GHA, Valentine will grab the opponent and fall backwards. Valentine alone will phase into the ground, using the opponent as cover to enter an alternate dimension, while the opponent themselves will merely slam into it. Valentine returns while they are on the ground.
While D4C is on:
- Well, now you've done it! (始末する): D4C flies forward, unleashing a combo of chops that knock the opponent down with the final hit.
- I'll dispose of you! (かなりムカついたぞ): D4C unleashes a chop downward. If Medium is inputted, it follows up with an overhead chop. If Heavy is inputted, it follows up with a low kick that knocks the opponent down, and cannot be blocked if they are not crouching. A Stand Rush skill that Valentine can disconnect from to attack the opponent while it is executing. If Valentine has all three Corpse Parts, this moves executes faster, nullifying the recovery between attacks.
- Dojyan! (どジャアァァ～ン, Named "Ta-dah!" in the English localization): D4C pulls out a flag and, after laying it flat in the air, slams it into the ground. This move doubles as an anti-air. If the opponent is caught, they are sent into another dimension as Menger Sponges spew out from under the flag, and then sent flying out from under. If Valentine has all three Corpse Parts, this moves executes faster, nullifying the recovery between attacks.
Valentine receives a new blessing every time he picks up one of the three Holy Corpse Parts, but if knocked down, loses it as he drops the part.
- The Guard Gauge does not deplete as quickly.
- Valentine's defense is increased, reducing damage taken by 25%.
- D4C -Love Train- goes into effect. A dimensional wall of light surrounds Valentine. All projectiles except those unleashed through HHA and GHA are completely nullified. His damage reduction is also further increased to 70%, and his attack speed increases, granting him more abilities to combo into or unleash as surprise attacks.
Valentine's HHA, "Guess who's back!" (連れて戻って来た！) is a counter. Valentine and D4C openly present themselves to the opponent with a shrug. If the opponent's non-Throw/GHA connects, Valentine will slam them into the ground as he disappears. He will come up with two more Valentines as the three beat the downed opponent, before D4C throws the oppponent into the air. In unison, all three Valentines uppercut the opponent and send them flying as the two that were summoned return to their dimensions.
Valentine's GHA, simply named "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" (いともたやすく行われるえげつない行為, Renamed "Filthy acts, at a reasonable price" in the English localization), is unblockable, and has him pull out a large flag and blanket it forward as Valentine declares the attack something the opponent should be honored to receive. If the opponent is caught, they are draped over by the flag (an image reminiscent of a military funeral ceremony) and Valentine jumps in shortly afterward. The two are pulled into another dimension, interrupting the battle between alternate universe versions of themselves. While Valentine poses with his expecting doppelganger, the opponent slams into theirs as they violently disintegrate into a shower of Menger Sponges as per the rules of D4C.
Valentine has a special skill exclusive to him, "Back from the 'other side'" (自分を「隣りへ」捨てて「入れ替わっている」). He can only perform the skill when he has all three Corpse Parts and three stocks of the Heart Heat Gauge. Valentine will swap places with an alternate version of him from another dimension, which completely refills his health bar. If Valentine is low on health and has activated "Rumble Mode", then it will persist into his transition, leaving him at full health with Rumble Mode engaged. The drawback of this move, however, is that Valentine loses all Corpse Parts and his HHG is disabled for the rest of entire match. If struck by Kosaku-Kira's GHA after having used this skill successfully, Valentine's HHG will be restored once time has looped backward.
Valentine triggers unique animations when hit by Johnny and Gyro's GHAs respectively.
- Johnny - "Pretty long for a shortcut!": Valentine attempts to protect himself with D4C Love Train, only for Tusk ACT4 to forcefully rip the dimensional wall open and fly past, recreating the climactic scene from the battle in the manga. When beating Valentine, a slow-motion close-up of Tusk punching D4C in the face and the hit reflecting in Valentine is shown.
- Gyro - "Ball Breaker": Valentine attempts to protect himself with D4C Love Train, only for Ball Breaker to penetrate and fly through the dimensional wall, recreating the scene from the battle in the manga. Ball Breaker will zoom past Valentine and D4C's face, the two attempting to brace themselves, before exploding in a blast of Complete Golden Spin Energy.
In the English localization, if Valentine is mirror matched against himself, during the dialogue before the fight, the first Valentine will provoke saying "Get ready for amber waves of pain!", while the second Valentine will say "Hello me. Meet the REAL me" (the latter being a lyric from the song "Sweating Bullets" by the band Megadeth)
Valentine possesses an alternate costume, being the attire he wears on the cover of the final chapter of Steel Ball Run (a more classic president-like suit for the time period). In the English localization, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap is simply shorted to "D4C".
Valentine was confirmed for JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Eyes of Heaven alongside Johnny, Gyro, and THE WORLD Diego.
As a Stand User, Valentine is one of many characters with wildly varied abilities that grant him uniqueness in battle.
- Style Action - Must...escape...to the next dimension...and hide...: Valentine jumps as he pulls out a flag and uses it to hide in another dimension, before reappearing from another flag. Depending on whether or not Valentine is locked onto an opponent, he will either reappear in the air behind them from anywhere on the stage, easily allowing for a Backstab to follow, or simply reappear in place from where he initially leapt. Valentine is granted invincibility from the moment he pulls out the flag until he reappears, and gains super armor upon reappearing until he lands. He may follow-up on his reappearance with a Normal or Powerful Attack, as well as any skill while falling.
- It's merely self-defense!: Valentine pulls out a revolver and fires six bullets before tossing it away. His shots may automatically angle themselves slightly upward or downward depending on where his target is.
- That really irritated me, so I'm really going to have to hurt you now.: Valentine and D4C charge forward a short distance before unleashing a barrage of 6 chops that send opponents caught flying on the final hit. If the target is splat against a wall, the attack can be inputted a second time and Valentine will follow it up by disappearing into another dimension. He will then briefly reappear in front of the target with two more Valentines as the three, in unison, uppercut and send them flying.
- This is another me...: Valentine throws a piece of glass into the air as D4C shatters it, allowing him to switch dimensions. He then reappears with a parallel version of himself that will proceed to attack on his own. The parallel Valentine has his own health gauge separate of Valentine, and can utilize any of his skills and attacks. While the parallel Valentine is active, the original Valentine cannot use any attacks or skills involving D4C. After some time has passed or the parallel Valentine's health empties, he will retreat back into his own dimension using his own flag.
- President Icon: A small icon on the right side of Valentine's health gauge showing a duplicate of his profile displays whether or not the parallel Valentine is active. It is dimmed by default, and lights up to indicate that the parallel Valentine is currently active.
- If I switch out with this new me...: Valentine swaps places with an alternate version of himself from another dimension, completely replenishing his current health gauge. However, Valentine's defense permanently lowers every time he uses this skill, making it easier for his opponents to deplete his health overall. This will stack up to 3 times, at which point Valentine can lose a full health gauge after receving only a small amount of damage.
- EX - That really irritated me, so I'm really going to have to hurt you now.: Valentine is invincible from the moment of the skill's execution to when the first chop is thrown.
- EX - This is another me...: Valentine is invincible until the parallel Valentine is successfully active. The in-game description falsely implies that Valentine is invincible while the parallel Valentine is active.
- Trait - D4C -Love Train-: When Valentine reaches his last health gauge, a dimensional wall of light surrounds him. While active, all projectiles are completely nullified. However, Love Train has an innate durability, and will disappear when enough projectiles have made contact with it. Valentine also remains vulnerable to Johnny Joestar's "Who'll be the sacrifice?" skill.
- Dual Heat Attack - Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap: Identical to its performance in All Star Battle, though executes faster for the sake of brevity.
- Dojyan! (dubbed "Ta-dah!" in the English localization): Valentine must use his Style Action 3 times. (200 Points)
- You're the only one who can come in from the other side...: Valentine must use "This is another me..." 3 times. (200 Points)
- Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (dubbed "Filthy acts, at a reasonable price" in the English localization): Valentine must Backstab 5 times. (300 Points)
- Pick up the napkin first!: Valentine must use "If I switch out with this new me...". (500 Points)
- My soul is in clear, unclouded tandem with my actions! Everything I do is for justice!: Valentine must Retire an opponent without losing a single health gauge. (800 Points)
In the game's story, Valentine is the root cause of Heaven Ascension DIO's appearance in the universe, and the entire story of the game because of it. During the events of his final battle with Johnny, trapped by Tusk ACT4's power, Valentine searches the various parallel universes in hopes of something capable of saving him while he buys time against his enemy. After some searching, he encounters a version of DIO within another universe. That version of DIO was able to undo the power of the Golden Spin with only a wave of his hand, and Valentine initially looked to him for help. However, after telling the alternate DIO of the existence of parallel universes, Valentine quickly realizes his mistake: Heaven Ascension DIO immediately made it his objective to subjugate and conquer every universe possible.
With his country threatened by the so-called "terrorist", Valentine ultimately decides to ally himself with the Joestar family, as they are his best hope for defeating Heaven DIO. Appearing multiple times under the guise of being one of Heaven DIO's minions sent to fight the protagonist group, he discreetly gives aid to the Joestars through small pieces of information each meeting.
Eventually, after the Joestar family's first encounter with Heaven DIO, Valentine directly approaches them. He confirms of the original universe DIO's status and hints at the weakness of DIO's new Heaven Ascension form. While Johnny is rightfully distrustful of Valentine, Valentine attempts to diffuse his suspicion by tossing the revolver he had hidden, forcing Johnny to throw his own version as the group witnesses the menger sponge effect. Despite the evidence that Valentine bears no ill-will and has no reason to deceive the Joestars, Johnny cannot forgive him for killing Gyro.
Valentine also helps Joseph Joestar confirm the reason why the two versions of him can co-exist right next to each other: as both of them are from the same timeline and are not alternate/parallel versions of the other, they are safe from the menger sponge effect.
Eventually, Valentine's role is discovered by Heaven DIO. He reveals his reason for betrayal, following the path of true justice, even it means sacrificing his life for the sake of his country. With nowhere to run, Valentine boldly attacks DIO, but is ultimately defeated by The World Over Heaven, with all versions of him in every universe wiped from reality along with D4C.
Due to Valentine's erasure from the timelines, the ending of Steel Ball Run is altered. In the new timeline, Gyro is alive to fight THE WORLD Diego alongside Johnny.
In the light novel JORGE JOESTAR, a version of Funny Valentine exists in the first universe prior to the second universe where Part 7 takes place. This section requires expansion.
An incarnation of Funny Valentine also lives in the 37th universe. This Funny Valentine is over eighty years old in 2012, with a son named Funnier Valentine and a grandson named The Funniest Valentine. Five people had been the president of the United States after him, including his grandson who is the current president. Despite being old, he still looks to be in good health. However, Koji Hirose reveals that he wears a wig and hides his wrinkles with Botox and plastic surgery.
The 37th universe's Funny wields a Stand named Singing in the Rain, a frog-like Stand that can be ridden and adhere itself onto surfaces to bring its rider anywhere in spite of difficult circumstances.
- The concept for Valentine's character derives from Araki's interest in a fighting President, after watching the movie Independence Day.
- Funny Valentine demonstrates the ability to pierce and shotgun a can of beer; much like Jotaro during his introduction in Stardust Crusaders.
- Valentine's catchphrase Dojyaaa~~n! means Tada! in Japanese.
- The scene during which Funny receives his dead father's handkerchief appears to reference the 1994 film Pulp Fiction. In the movie, a young Butch and his mother are visited by Vietnam veteran Captain Koons, who fought with Butch's father. Butch's father was captured and held in a POW camp and did everything in his power to hide a gold watch (a family heirloom and symbol of patriotism) from his captors until he died of dysentery. Some of the panels in the manga were seemingly modeled after the same scene in the movie.
- Valentine's Japanese voice actor in the Bandai Namco games, Yasuyuki Kase, would later go on to also voice Mikitaka Hazekura in Part 4 TV Anime.
- In the story, Funny Valentine is stated as being the 23rd President of the United States, a rank which was occupied by Benjamin Harrison in reality.